Can Facebook statuses also be a blog post? I hope so.

I went to Target at lunch to try on sandals. I took my shoes off, tried on a few pairs, turned around and my shoes were gone. So I walk barefoot through the store and end up finding them at the front desk. Someone had turned them in. My life should be a movie.

Things I don't really need, but can't seem to live without. . .

It is no secret that I am totally and 100% addicted to American Idol. I haven't missed an episode, much less a season, since it started. Up until last year, I taped...yes, using a VHS tape, every episode that I had to miss. Finally last January, I convinced my then-roommate that we needed, had to have, could not live without a DVR. And thus began an easier life where each Tuesday and Wednesday, no matter my plans, American Idol would be safely recorded and stored in my DVR.

As I was watching what I missed of American Idol Tuesday night, I began to think, "could I ever live without DVR?" Well, that's a no-brainer. Hell to the no. My dependency on it is just sad...not only recording shows, be re-winding funny parts of The Office, or fast-forwarding through commercials. When I first signed up for the service, someone told me it would change my life. I wouldn't go that far - but it is definitely something I don't really need, but couldn't imagine living without.

Other things that fit this category...

1. Treadmills with installed t.v. screens.
Pure genius. What better way to breakup the monotony of running than to watch your favorite episodes of Friends. One time I caught myself laughing so loud that the dude in front of me turned around and stared. Awkward moment.


2. Wisp
I am a huge advocate of dental hygiene. I can't count how many times I've brushed my teeth with my finger when there was no other choice...until I discovered these little gems.

3. Seat Heaters
At the risk of sounding like a total diva, cold leather is just about as bad as cold tiles out of the shower. Nothing beats having your backside warmed up on a cold winter morning. How awesome would it be to have your steering wheel be warmed up, too?

Granted, each one of these things could be taken away from me at any given moment and I know my heart would go on. But that doesn't mean I'm looking for it to happen! And besides, my must-haves are way more useful and practical than a Snuggie, Bump-It, or those ridiculous perforated brownie pans.

Agreed?

Practical Jokes

For whatever reason, people love pulling pranks on me. I don't know if it is because of my reaction or what...but I always seem to be everyone's go-to for practical jokes. At church camp (of all places), the girls froze my bra. I had my car shaving-creamed a few times in our high school parking lot. And I am a prime target for water balloons.

This one took the cake though. This happened a few years ago at work - I came in one morning to find this on my desk. I got so ticked...and then I would laugh...and then go back to being ticked. It took me like 3 months to find out who did it.



Just in case you can't figure it out, that's my phone, totally submerged in cherry jell-o. Jim Halpert would be proud.

shout-out to the 37215

To say that my Dad is a Pittsburgh Steelers fanatic is a understatement. Don't believe me? Come over to our house and see his man room.

Last week my boss went to a luncheon where Rocky Bleier was the guest speaker. Don't worry, I had to Google him, too. Without going into detail, he was an important Steelers player back in the day. Anyway, they passed out autographed pictures of Rocky and my boss was kind enough to give me his to give to my dad.

When I left work that day, I had a stack of mail with me, as well as the picture. I put them all in my passenger seat and stopped by the post office drop box on my way home. Well...I dropped more than the mail.

About 5 minutes in to my drive home, I realized what I had done and immediately called the post office, frantically telling them what happened. I told them it was my Dad's birthday gift, hoping that would help my case a little more. White lies never hurt anyone!

He said if I came back in 15 minutes, I could meet someone out there and go through the mail. And I did just that.

With my new best friend in tow, we spent several minutes in the freezing cold going through the day's letters, bills and packages. Finally, we found the unmarked white envelope that held my dad's "birthday gift." I thanked him a thousand times over and went on my merry little way.

A huge THANK YOU to the Green Hills Post Office for saving the day. The picture now hangs among many others in my Dad's man room...except this one has a fun little memory to go along with it!

stick to your day job, Joshua

I have all respect in the world for those in the food-service industry. From hostesses, to waiters and servers...I don't know if I could ever do it. So, if you are reading this and do or ever have worked for a restaurant, this is in no way a knock to you. It's a knock to Joshua.

O.k. - some background info on my little rant.

This past weekend some friends & I rented a cabin in the thriving metropolis that is Gatlinburg, Tennessee...which is quite possibly the cheesiest town in the South. We had fun doing a whole lot of nothing and it was a great way to get away from Nashville for a hot minute.

So Saturday night we went out to dinner at a really great restaurant "in town". There were 12 of us, which always proves to make things a bit more hectic and slow, no matter where you dine. We were seated promptly and the food was great.

So everything sounds good up until now and you are asking where I'm going with this...?

Our waiter...Joshua. Bless his heart. There is a difference in being friendly, and being totally overbearing and, well, annoying.

Joshua was the later. He started out asking us where we were all from, which I guess isn't so bad. But it didn't stop there.

He literally plopped his happy self right beside one of us and started his monologue about how long his day was and how he's a paramedic, too. Today he helped a girl who cut her hand on glass. So he's also a saint. Oh, and he's in a band and has a two year old son. Good for you, Mr. Multitasker. Now let's just take everyone's order and we'll move on.

Mid-meal, as we were eating, he asked if we wanted to hear a religious or dirty joke. Neither, but thanks. Stop making it weird.

Probably the worst came at the end of the meal as we were paying. He stood at the head of the table and explained to us that gratuity was included in our check but if we wanted to tip more, "please give me cash so that I don't have to share with the bartenders."

Here's a tip: stick to your day job!

the one with the butt dial

If you've ever butt dialed two different people, in two days, and both had them or their voicemail listen to your not-so-stellar vocal talents, raise your hand.



I blame my new phone. Last night, I butt-dialed Whitney. No idea how - considering my phone was in my passenger seat. Bad Pixi.

Anyway, she proceeded to listen to me for 3 awkward minutes sing "Ticks" by Brad Paisley at the top of my lungs. Obviously I was totally oblivious to the fact that she was listening. And let me tell you - a goat could probably sing better than I can.

As if that wasn't bad enough, I did the same thing this morning. To my mom. Different song...her little ditty was "Your Song" by Elton John. This was recorded on her voicemail. Blackmail in its finest.

I either need to a) put my phone in my trunk at all times or b) stop singing in the car.

Thankfully, Whitney has been my best friend since I was 12...and my mom...well, she's my mom. They have no choice but to love me, despite my hidden talent of butt dialing their phones to give random vocal performances.

And if I do this again to you, consider yourself lucky.

Target is a drug. And I'm in need of rehab.

This past weekend I ventured to Target for socks. All I needed was basic, white socks. Simple. White socks. Should have taken all of 5 minutes to pick out and purchase.

One hour and $80.00 later, my shopping spree is complete.

I have been convinced for a while that there is a chemical imbalance in the air at Target that makes you buy way more than you had ever intended. Or maybe there is subliminal advertising seeping through the walls that says "You, you right there...don't doubt yourself. You really do need all that junk in your cart."

Whatever it is, it hits you like a wave when you first walk in and meet that godforsaken Dollar section. I don't know what it is about it, but there is always something in there that's appealing to me. This time, it was green beads for St. Patrick's Day. I thought they'd be fun to wear to work...I mean I don't want to get pinched! I throw them in my basket and move on.

I strolled through the rest of the store like I had all the time in the world. I ended up buying some sandals, jelly beans, mascara, vitamins and an Easter card. Who sends Easter cards? Apparently I do.

Notice WHITE SOCKS didn't make my list. The one thing I went in to buy, I totally forgot.

Looks like I'll be barefoot in rehab.